By: Glenda “ToniSteelz” Martinez (December 2010)
Boy, don’t I understand those words all too well. It’s been quite a year for me.
As an independent business owner, artist, and more, those words reside deep.
Being hands on with everything from music to placement to booking gigs and
performances, never once have I stopped to acknowledge him.
Don’t get me wrong I pray, and I thank God every morning when I wake, throughout the day, and when I lay my head to sleep at night. But, I never acknowledged him. I never thanked
him for my gifts, my talent, my motivation, my determination, or my success. I
never thanked him for my blessings nor did I give him credit. I was taking
advantage of him and of my life, and because of that everything was taken from
me.
I’ve always been employed with exceptional income at prestigious firms and
executive positions. I’ve always been a woman with many trades and able to make
a living doing pretty much of anything. I never wanted or needed much up until
a few months ago when all the doors closed. I couldn’t understand what was
happening. I’ve been unable to find work, I haven’t been successful with my
“side hustles” and everything came to a standstill. I’ve been unable to produce
music, promote my product, travel, shop or just have a night out with friends
because the funds just wasn’t there. And then came the breakdown, the tears
and the repent. I was so selfish. I was living my life not realizing that my
life is not my own.
I now know the secret and I completely get it. I understand that I am not in control and that my time is borrowed. I see that God is all I need and all I’ll ever have. I couldn’t turn to friends or family. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems when everyone else was dealing with their own. But there GOD was, shining his light on me and never giving up; opening door after door, accepting me and allowing me to make it better.
Things are turning around for me and more doors are opening. I now know where I stand and would rather have God all the time than need him some of the time. He’s definitely number 1!
1 comment
“….would rather have God all the time than need Him some of the time.” A short but powerful phrase. I too am and have been guilty of such a practice. I appreciate your honesty and confession. God IS faithful and consistent, and it is us who stray from and cut Him off. Yes, true to His words in Matt. 28:16-20, “and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the age,” we’re never off God’s mind. Thank you and keep doing God’s work.
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