I was raised Rastafarian so we didn’t go to church a lot. My father was a rasta, but my grandmother was the boss. She took us to church sometimes and I hated going, because it was boring. But I always believed God was God. My grandmother instilled that in us. I always knew God was real and that he had to be a part of my life. I just didn’t understand the Jesus Christ component, until I got more mature in my faith.
I remember when I was in college my twin sister came to me and said “You need to give your life to Christ Jesus.” She said if I don’t, Jesus is going to come and he’s going to take me and not you I’m going to die and I’m going to go to hell for the rest of my life. And I said, “Whaaat????” Why are you telling me this?” I was actually on my way to a party. But sure enough, that Thanksgiving break I came home and I got saved. I still didn’t know who Christ was, but my sister and I were so close that I thought whatever she’s doing had to be right, so I did what she did.
The first revelation I had about God was at a church service. The word was so good and I was able to get a better understanding of Jesus as God. I started to fear God more, and when you fear God you know not to play around. But then I saw a pastor on Facebook say, after so many years, that Christ is not real. He had me thinking for two seconds, what if he’s telling the truth? What if Christ is not real? That’s how quick the mind can change.
What I see today is people who grew up in church deviating from that and looking for spirituality outside of Jesus Christ. Why do we become so weak, and easy to turn away from him? We get a dose of life and become so easy to accept other people’s information. But where are they getting their information from? It’s almost like you have a father who raised you, and you know that he is your biological father. There’s proof on your birth certificate but you continue to question if he’s your father even though the DNA states the truth. So now, your mind is going everywhere and you’re looking for truth when the truth is right in your face.
I’ve learned to look to God and learn the scriptures myself. There’s a movie The Book of Eli, that is so powerful. That man did not have the book any more, but the word lived in him. So even in hard times, when life isn’t so sweet, we cannot allow things to distract us. Yes we all go through things, yes we have church hurt, but there are people in third world countries who go through worse, and they’re still praising God. Worshipping God when things don’t go right, do you know how powerful that would be? We don’t have time to be experimenting.
I don’t know how to explain the fear of God living in me, but I believe everyone experiences God. Every single human being. God gives us all an opportunity to know him. I yearn to please God and make him a proud father while I’m on earth. It’s a hunger. I live knowing that God is in control. Even when I don’t believe it, I still know it. I challenge you to pray about something that you have never seen results on, and watch him work. Trust God. Trust God in all that you do. It’s not about us. God is real and it’s a beauty to experience him.