SINGLES: Truth moment
There’s a lot of dating advice out there that’s sometimes hard for me to digest. I hear the same things so often, I almost believe it’s true. For example, you are what you attract, work on yourself then your spouse will come, when you wait you win the race, in finding a mate… etc. But every now and then an unpopular opinion arises from someone so bold enough to go against the grain. And suddenly it makes perfect sense why certain dating theories did not sit well with me. Read as our writer ditched those dating clichés, and made peace with knowing love can find her flaws and all.
SINGLES: Truth moment? 🔥🔥
I’m almost 29 years old and I’ve never been in a committed relationship. 😳👀😱
I’ve had a strong desire for marriage and motherhood since I was about 18.
I remember asking God about 6 or 7 years ago, why I’ve never been a girlfriend and His response was always, “because you’re a wife.” Hard truth at the time…but keep reading.
So, I’ve engaged with a few “interests,” and even had a whole situationship with someone that almost led to some serious future commitment. I’ll explain that at a later time 😊. But I’ve never had anything “commitment,” related.
At one point of frustration in my life, I remember asking God to strip the desire away. I actually told Him to kill my desire to ever want to be married. 🤷🏽♀️💯
Guess what? He didn’t and I’m so glad about it!
You see, I’ve had countless moments of wondering, fasting, praying, sifting through prophetic utterances, and just about everything as it relates to staying before the Father concerning the desire.
And out of ALL of the advice that I’ve gotten over the past almost 10 years, one that still makes me cringe is the suggestion that I become the best me and deal with “my stuff,” so that God can give me the desires of my heart.
While I’ve gone through healing and maturation on various levels and am STILL very much and will always be doing so— I don’t believe that God rewards us because of our good works. If that’s the case, NONE of us would experience anything from God!
There’s not enough healing and wholeness in the world that will ever “qualify,” me for my husband because he’s a person, too. 😳
He will come with baggage, too. He will come dripping in both holiness AND humanity! He will come with a past, too. He will need me to help him, too. He will need God’s mercy extended from me to him, too.
My husband WILL need Jesus—just as BAD as I do!💥
And that’s FINE. We’ll love Jesus together and continue to partner with heaven to sanctify one another to BE whole like HIM!
THAT is why I wait. Because marriage is GREATER than becoming my best self to offer to my future husband. Marriage is two people partnering together to love each other in spite of—not because of—so that you BOTH can glorify Jesus and reflect His Kingdom.
So YES, single sisters—you DO have work to do. Yes, go to counseling. Yes, learn to deal with your stuff. Yes, grow in intimacy with Jesus. Yes, continue to mature in your devotion life. Yes, do a lot of things to “prepare”…
But, NOT so you can HAVE a husband. 🙅🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Do the work because our HIGHEST goal is to be pleasing to the Father and to reflect Him.
So NO more pressure. You’re NOT just waiting because your imperfections or areas of deficiency have added more time to the “desire fulfilled” clock.
You could simply be waiting because— God is God and His timing is perfect and it just may not be time—YET.
All in all, stay true to YOUR process. Whatever that looks like. Your faults, blemishes, past, and areas of unresolve aren’t keeping your future husband away.
I know they definitely aren’t keeping the Father away.
And THAT is the kind of love worth waiting a lifetime for. 🙌🏽💕
#WaitWell #YouGotThisSis #KillThePressure