Single and loving it picBy: Shirley Touzin-Diarra (October 2010)

Marriage is a beautiful thing; so much so God paints the spiritual illustration of the body of Christ being the bride, and Christ the groom!  He talks about the way a man should love a woman, and also the way a woman should love a man. The descriptions, both natural and spiritual, are as beautiful as the picture perfect marriage should be. Marriage is honorable. God smiles on the union of his people!

There’s great joy and celebration when a man and a women decide to come together in holy matrimony. The beauty of two worlds merging, because of two lives fusing, brings my heart an insurmountable amount of joy! For as long as I could remember I kicked, and I screamed begging God to give me the desires of my heart! I would often find myself in a fetal position stalking the throne for Boaz!!! If anyone wanted a husband I surely did!

I had a myriad of reasons why I clung to the foot of the master for the man of my dreams! I’m in love with love. I’m transfixed by the way love makes me feel! I’m addicted to this four letter word. Sometimes I wish they could bottle it up in the form of pills! I’m so happy there’s no price value on it, ‘cause how in the world could we afford the indescribable way another human can make you feel like sweaty palms, or butterflies! Where would we find money enough to chase after the high prescribed by God in the form of Eros love! If you’ve ever had a high dosage of love as I’ve had, you’ll understand why I’m about to say what I’m about to say! Song of Solomon 2:7 says “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In other words wait for the right time, do not push the envelope, and don’t force a circle into a square! Wait patiently enjoying every moment of your singleness!!

I’m not saying not to desire a husband or a wife, but I am saying serve the Lord fully with no interruptions. Get to know yourself while you’re waiting; discover your likes, and your dislikes!! Write down what you want, write the vision and make it plain! Deal with any and every insecurity that you may have as to not bring that along to the meeting of the minds, when getting to know the person you want to be with. Insecurity and low self-esteem are definite hindrances when trying to get to know someone else! I know because I’m a recipient of a broken heart that has yet to be fully mended, due to the rejection of a man that I truly esteemed, and still do to this day.

Singleness as horrid and terrible a place I swore it was, is actually quite the opposite. You are at liberty to come and go as you please without asking for any permission, and only have to answer to you! Stay out for church services until the wee hours of the morning! Being on every choir, and make all the rehearsals as you could! Have the option of baked Mac n cheese, rice and beans, collards, and yams, or some golden grahams, cookie crisps, or some cinnamon toast crunch without feeling guilty!!! Take a road trip with the girls for three weeks without any qualms! The truth is, we need to check the reasons why we want companionship so bad. We need to ask ourselves a couple of real questions. Like: Do you want relationship or just relations? Do you think marriage is just a green light for “legal” sex? Are you actually ready to be a spouse and commit your life and time to another until death?  Knowing these things will allow you to be honest with yourself, and will make your waiting more effective.

The grass always looks greener, but haste makes waste! Simply enjoy where you’re at. Be happy, be confident, and most of all believe in the you God created you to be, for the person God created you for, and that’s HIM first!!! I believe that God wants us to be happy not miserable!

Marriage will be there waiting for you, and when the time is
right you’ll find or be found by that right one!! In the meantime fall in love with
the you God created you to be!!! Godliness and contentment is great gain!!!!