By: Tonya Kerry

God will send you love at the right time, but sometimes it can take a lot longer than you think it should. Just because you are lonely, it is not an instant pass to marriage. What you need is an action plan to turn that loneliness into love. So stop pondering over the issue about why God won’t send you a spouse. It’s time to kick that loneliness to the curb and take steps towards your relationship success!

People who get hungry don’t sit around wondering why God hasn’t sent them lunch or why manna hasn’t fallen from the sky. They go and get something to eat. Likewise, you can’t sit around and expect your ideal mate will come, kick your door in, and drag you to the altar. You need more than faith to make it happen. You have to do your part. Why? Because faith without any work, just doesn’t work: It’s dead.

Stop expecting God to do the things you are responsible for. You are responsible for preparing yourself to be the kind of spouse who brings love, strength, and honor to your home. Work on these you while you are single. Find your passion, find your authentic voice. Stop worrying about finding a mate. Manage your life now while you are single, so you don’t mess up your marriage later.

Men, go find a “good thing.” You already have your marching orders. Ask God about the kind of woman you should marry, and then seek her out. Keep knocking on God’s heavenly door until you win. Be specific about what you want in a wife. Pretty doesn’t hurt, but she should be more than just pretty. Pretty gets old, pretty gets tired, and sometimes, pretty gets cellulite and love handles. Be strong in who you are and if you don’t have a job, get one before you get a wife. Even Adam had a job cultivating the earth and caring for the animals before God sent him Eve.

Ladies, become the good thing he wants to find. Stop going to lonely girlfriend pity parties, and please stop talking negatively about men. Work on transforming yourself into the Proverbs 31 woman. When you do that, you won’t have time to be lonely; you will get some of your power back. And make no mistake about it; a good man can smell a powerful woman on a mission.

When I stopped focusing on being lonely and concentrated on dating myself, cleaning up, and mastering my money, God sent me a six foot two sack of sugar! Praise the Lord and pass the potatoes!

Tonya Kerry, Esq. is known as The Relationship Strategist and is also an author. She is committed to empowering others and helping them to succeed in life and in love. Her book, Twelve Secrets to Living a Life You Love, will inspire you to take action on your dreams. Tonya expects to soon publish How to Attract an Amazing Man. She currently serves as Administrative Law Judge and lectures around the country. You can reach Tonya at or by telephone at (800) 775-4395.