By: Tonya Kerry

When I was single and dating I thought, he’s saved, I am saved, we get married, God will work it all out.  Yikes!  That was the farthest thing from the truth. The Word is clear that we should not be “unequally yoked.”  One of the definitions of a “yoke” is that it is something that binds together; a tie.

Most people think that being “unequally yoked” deals only with things of a spiritual nature; however, being unequally yoked is not just about you being saved and being with an unbeliever.  My sister, it means not being with an immature, carnal, Christian man who has been saved since the year of the flood, but thinks he is right about everything.  So just because he’s saved, wearing a nice suit, smelling good, and earning a six-figure income, definitely does not mean he is the one.  (Although I bet you probably sure would hope that he is).  And my brother, it means not hooking up with Salvation Sally who thinks she’s the Holy One of Israel and shouts on all over the church Sunday, but raises hell the rest of the week.  If you hook up with someone like that, for sure you will be unequally yoked.

Although it is definitely at the top of the list, look to more than a person’s salvation to determine if he or she is for you.  My top three criteria that had to be satisfied when I was attracting a great mate were: Is he saved, is he single, and is he emotionally available?  If the answer to either one of these questions were negative, I kept it moving.

Here’s the guidepost to help you decide whether or not you should promote the person to the next level in your relationship:

Salvation is a must. The person should be fully surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus in all areas of life.  For example if you tithe and he or she does not and is unwilling to do so, that is a deal breaker.  If you attend church regularly, and he will not, that is a deal breaker for sure.

Make sure the person is single for real. Single means the plain ordinary meaning of single.  (I have seen a few people get this one confused).  Single means not married – not legally separated, and not physically separated.  No excuses.  If he or she is saved, fabulous, still married, and a divorce is imminent, make sure that you are not the cause of it.  In this case, you should proceed with caution.

If he or she is not emotionally available, run. Binds to mama, Ties to daddy, sister, brother, or even broke-down uncle Ned, are clear indicators you will not be first.  Don’t waste your time trying to do a makeover.

These are not incredible or unreasonable requests.  On the contrary, they are just the ones you should require because you deserve to have them.  Just because the person you meet is saved, does not mean he or she is meant for you.  Stand strong until the one who is meant for you shows up.  When you do, that will be the love affair of a lifetime.

Tonya Kerry, Esq. is known as The Relationship Strategist and is also an author. She is committed to empowering others and helping them to succeed in life and in love. Her book, Twelve Secrets to Living a Life You Love, will inspire you to take action on your dreams. Tonya expects to soon publish How to Attract an Amazing Man. She currently serves as Administrative Law Judge and lectures around the country. You can reach Tonya or by telephone at (800) 775-4395.