By: Dorothy Whitfield

There is a myth that “good men are hard to find” but it is definitely not true. Getting married is actually pretty easy, it’s staying married that appears to be the challenge. We all know the divorce statistics. The truth is, now that I’m married I realize how simple it is to be found by Mr. Right and that we really put more pressure on ourselves than we should.

Make a list. Check it twice ūüėČ

Make a list of the qualities that you want in a spouse. Remember to be specific. Ask God what you should add to your list. Share your list with a friend. (Please don’t share your list with just any friend. Use wisdom.) Your friend may suggest a characteristic that you should add to the list that you didn’t think of. On my list I put that I wanted my husband’s parents to be married. Since my parents were divorced it was very important to me that my husband’s parents have a happy healthy marriage. Thank God that I put that on my list. I have wonderful in-laws that I am proud to call mom and dad.

Now that you have your list, become what is on your list. If you wrote that you want a spouse that is debt free then you need to work on becoming debt free. If you want someone in great physical shape then you need to start working out. Want someone that loves God then you must love God. Like attracts like. Become what you want in someone else. The best way to recognize a person that has what you are looking for is to become the person that you are looking for.

I remember when I was single and I had the opportunity to take a financial class. I decided to wait until I got married so that my husband and I could take the class. Wrong! I laugh now about the things that I decided to put on hold until I got married. (Keep in mind that I hadn’t even met my husband when I made this decision.) The only thing worth putting on hold until you get married is sex. If you want to buy a house, buy yourself a house. If you want to have dinner at a 5 star restaurant, take yourself to a 5 star restaurant. If you want go on a trip around the world, go on a trip around the world. When you live life to the fullest you will attract someone that does the same.

Desire HIM

If you want a successful marriage then your relationship with God has to be the most important thing in your life. After a difficult break up and spending months crying out to God and asking Him if I was ever going to get married, I finally came to the point where if I never got married that it was okay. Since people are flawed the only thing that will help you through the great times and the challenges is your love for HIM. My husband and I both tell each other “I love you, but not more than Jesus.” Although nobody is perfect, God will bless you with the perfect person for you. If you let HIM.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22

Stop trying to find Mr. Right and let him find you. It’s funny how God works. For months I was obsessed with getting married. Once I calmed down and started living my life I ended up meeting my husband. I used to try to negotiate with God. I would say “If you tell me who my husband is I can make sure I don’t marry the wrong person.” That didn’t work. Thank God it didn’t.

Dorothy Whitfield is a Life Coach, Author & Speaker. Visit her site at and