Caught in between a rock and a hard place with barely enough room to lift your hands up to wipe the blood, sweat, and tears from your face. You’re submerged in the ocean of pain, way down deep past hurt and shame, where the darkness of loss and heartache are the only forms of light you see. At this point pain is your muse. When will the pain subside? Frustration settles in to the most intricate parts of your being, where your bones crack with dissatisfaction, you’re angry to say the least, and you feel like what purpose your God serves! Truthfully if one can be honest, we’ve all been there.
A place where there’s no solace, no reprieve in sight. It’s like the spiritual equivalent to walking for days in a hot desert, the sun beating vehemently on your back, no shade, and your throat is parched. Dreaming with your eyes wide open for some water, quenching your thirst with your saliva in hopes of an oasis, but nothing comes of your hopes, your dreams are dashed by the sunray and you are just left with your imagination playing tricks with you, thus only leaving you to deal with your litany of mirages. Constantly praying for some type of change and nothing seems to be acknowledged. Your frustration has now turned from a mild yellow pepper of anger, to a flaming fiery red pepper of infuriation. Now everything in your flesh is screaming curse God and die, rightfully so your flesh is yelping, feeling justified in it’s foolish babbling It wouldn’t be the first time, or the last time that a human being has been nudged in that direction. Nothing seems to be falling into place, but everything is in disarray.
So Ok I’ve stated the case everything is terrible right now, death seems like you’re only way out, by your own hand suicide the remedy for all the negativity you’re facing, and you simply don’t have to play the hand that life has dealt you. But I beg to differ not as though, I haven’t faced the hard trials of life, matter of fact as I write this I’m going through something that can knock the socks right off you! I’m dealing with my own pain, and hurt, but I’ve come to the conclusion that being angry with God is not the solution. Things are not going the way that I planned or ever even imagined they’d be. All my life in Christiandom I’ve prayed for the protection of my family, covering them in the name of Jesus, and believing God for them to be protected forever because I prayed, but what happens when things you ask God to do are the contrary? Peradventure let’s say you pray that God gives you traveling mercies, but you get into a car accident and you’re banged u p pretty badly, do you A) get angry at God because you prayed and seemingly he didn’t protect you? B) Do you shut God out now because you’re prayers seemingly went unanswered? C) Do you give God all the praise despite of the Good, the bad, the ugly, and the indifferent? If you answered C, then you answered correctly, because I’ve realized that praising God is what we’re to do.
Praise is not predicated on anything, but of the mere fact that he is. When I begin to focus on who God is, and his mercies toward me for no apparent goodness of my own, I can’t get mad at him for things not working out for me. Because truthfully all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. In other words I’d rather go through my difficult times loving God, and learning more of him, because even your pain is working for you. Tragedy, loneliness, rejection, everything that is bad is working on our behalves. What kind of God do we serve where even the negative things in life are only stepping stone to more greatness in our lives? We don’t always understand, and we won’t always understand, but us not understanding is not a problem as long as God knows and understands we’ll be alright. As long as we keep our minds stayed on him, he’ll keep us in perfect peace. This is not to discredit the go through, and the validity of the pain we all as humans at some point must feel or face, but it is definitely an eye opener. Seeing God as a reverential being and not as a genie is essential in how we conduct ourselves when we’re faced with things that might not necessarily benefit us at the moment. Losing a loved one live or dead is not a great feeling, but I know it’s working out for me. The rape of a dear one is not a good thing, but it’s working out for my good. The lack of income, the loss of a job, how can these things benefit me, being rejected, laughed at by peers, ostracized, counted out, how can any of these things be beneficial? But they are and they will be, because we overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and our testimony. At some point, pain will turn into joy, lack into riches, sickness into heal, and so and so on. My Go through is not just for me, it’s for the myriad of other people that are going through, and have no way out, and have no hope in nothing. I’m going through for them, and I’ve been chosen to feel the pain too as to not sound like a robot when I speak, or automated when I minister to someone. I’m human I cry, so I can wipe someone else’s tears. We must find meaning in everything we go through in life.
A question that we all must ask ourselves is have we suffered until the shedding of blood? None of us have, and none of us for the most part will ever have to. God has endured everything you’re enduring and more. He knows our hurts, and our pain. He will not leave us comfortless. I know this now, and I’m glad that I’m able to share this because I have been at the bottom of the ocean floor with heartache, and know how it feels to be in a place of sheer anguish. I’ve been between a rock and a hard place many times in my life, having to deal with the blows of life’s disappointments and the hatred of those that I’ve loved. Be ye angry and sin not, please don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. So many things that I prayed wouldn’t happen to me or my family have happened, so do I now just stop praising God? No! I will bless the Lord at all times, and his praise shall continually be in my mouth, all I have is my praise, should I give that I up too? No I refuse to lay down and die, and I refuse for you to lay down and die too. We must grab our praise, and acknowledge our hurt, by giving it to the one who can change things.
I confess I’ve been angry, and truthfully not in the mood for anyone, or anything, and definitely not in the mood to hear anyone telling me to pray, and God will make a way, and all the clichés but I’ve matured and have come to the understanding myself that I really love God, not for the fishes, and the loaves, or what he can do for me and my family. I love him simply for who He is, and knowing who he is how can I be angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!