For years I heard he’s a boy being a boy. This naïve statement helped to mask some of the signals my son was sending me. Since this was my first child I wasn’t aware of what to look for. He wasn’t acting out or being disruptive so ignoring the signs were easier for me to sweep away. Either way it was going to show its face whether I was ready or not.
In first grade we received a progress report stating that our son wasn’t on the same grade level as the other kids. Of course, I thought, this teacher can’t teach, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. So, I blew it off until the next progress report. I thought, “she just doesn’t like my son.” But deep down inside I knew my son lacked focus and patience in areas that take extra work. But I kept praying and hoping that he will “GROW out of it. During this period as parents we were battling our frustration that our son wasn’t matching our expectations, adding more pressure to him so that he could match or exceed our ideas of him. “He is different. Where did these traits come from?” I remember saying these words out loud and immediately feeling like I just crushed my son’s feelings.
After praying and doing a lot of research I realized that my son has ADHD. He couldn’t stay focused for more than than an hour, had low confidence in activities or studies that took longer to learn, fidgeting, and self-anxiety. In my heart I always knew that my son need extra attention in certain areas. Once I let go of the guilt about the diagnoses I could deal with it head on. As parents, we tend to make our children’s issues about us and not about the actually problem. I used my faith and love for GOD to help move our family forward.
As my son gets older I realize that people grow at their own pace. Trust your parenting, and ask for help from those who have been in your shoes and most importantly pray as a family. This thing called ADHD is seen as a cope out diagnoses, therefore leaving room for doubt and frustration. Trust your gut, be honest with yourself, and incorporate a plan or organization within the home for your child.
“God will never give you what you can’t handle.” Praise your child when deserved as well as push them when needed.
Written by: Shauntae Benton
Shauntae is a stylist and the founder of House Of Mercy. You can visit her site by clicking here.