Here’s the scenario. You are approaching your 30th birthday and your parents want to know when you are going to finally give them grandchildren. On top of that, everyone at work is falling in love, getting married, and having the babies your mother should be spoiling. You go to your phone to bury your face in social media only to be bombarded with engagement announcements and baby pics. All of this is enough to drive anyone crazy. Like, enough already. To catch up to the rest of the world, you may find yourself contemplating calling that person who you know is a “sure thing” but not the one you are longing for and truly deserve. These people are good for now and can at least keep you company and help you buy some time until someone better comes along. This is a danger zone and it’s called settling. Doing this can have detrimental effects and can hinder you from a life of joy. Here are some tips we considered before dating and then again before we got married. Here are our top 5 reasons to not settle in any relationship.
- Settling may be based on fear. We’ve heard this many times and have felt it ourselves. “I’m afraid of being alone” is a common theme. This is not the answer. In fact, we feel that being with the wrong person can actually make you feel lonelier than ever. Ask yourself, “Am I in this simply because I don’t want to be alone”?
- You deserve real love. Mary J. Blige said it best. You want someone to set your heart free and be your inspiration. You don’t want to be with someone that won’t help you reach your full potential.
- You won’t be happy in the end. Settling only leads to temporary satisfaction. It doesn’t make sense wasting your time or theirs.
- Don’t worry, be happy. This is waaaay easier said then done. When we were single, we didn’t want to hear any nonsense advice about “being single is a blessing”. You can get get out of here with that! Here’s the truth – they were right. Take this time to truly figure out what makes you happy. Your spouse won’t be responsible for your happiness.
- Arguing and fighting sucks. It’s bad enough with someone you love, so why do it with someone you are not even feeling.